October 31, 2001

tip me over and pour me out

So... very... tired... Haven't done any reading or gone to Latin class in about a week; so much for literacy.

Eureka! Aaron/PasteMob explains the tuna:

I said "I'm hungry". Peg said "I've got a bag of tuna" and showed me a half-inch-thick, silvery shingle that apparently has tuna inside. I tossed it from palm to palm briefly and then added "Tuna comes in bags."

... and T. explains the epigraph:

frank bidart read ellen west for us in carl phillips' workshop, fall 95... methinks he was living just behind the ART at the time, drawn i suppose to the thespian aura

Confidential to T.: I accidentally deleted your last missive, and your email address with it. Gah! Can you re-send it? Pleeeeeease? I'm so terribly sorry!

Met up with the Seattle Bloggers again last night. What a friendly bunch of technophiles. A list of them has been compiled by the energetic Daniel Talsky and there is a discussion group if you would like to join it and be notified of future events. Bless Jish for setting the whole thing up.

Revelation of the night: Jim/Everything Burns picked up a copy of the Codex Seraphinianus for $30 at Half Price Books... AARGGH! I swear to god, those people have no idea of the value of half their own inventory. Anyway, Jim, you're my new best friend, at least until I can get a gander at that book, at which point I will promptly drop you until I remember that you said you had a copy of Hypnerotomachia Poliphili.

I have been laughed at for recalling the title of the Stendhal book as "The Charnelhouse of Parma." But only two letters differ!

Someone writes in the diablog:

Hmmm. I don't have a day job (or much of a life, at the moment), and yet I'm not doing much real world reading, though I read 20+ websites a day. I don't know when things changed (I read a book a day from childhood onwards), but now I find I can only pay good books the attention they deserve if the deadline for something else is imminent.

I am Mighty Morphin' Procrastinator!

"Mighty Morphin'," eh? Not sure what to say except that our tastes all change as we mature, and I really don't think the volume of reading you do is at all important compared to whether you feel like you're getting anything out of what you read. Anyway, it sounds to me like you put tons of energy into your blog and online discussion groups and stuff. You probably read way more words per day than I do, you almost certainly know way more internet people than me, so I don't really see a problem...

To which someone responds:

oh come on, maybe there's a problem. tastes change, but it might not be okay. maybe tastes get worse. maybe tastes stay the same but you stop actually pursuing them, for whatever self-denying or lazy or depressed reasons. how many words do you get out of reading 20 sites a day? does it matter? people write books more slowly & thoughtfully than websites, they come out better, richer, denser, right? more good cholesterol, less bad cholesterol? i don't know a thing about mighty morphin but i know the feeling of DECAY. if things don't feel okay, they MIGHT NOT BE.

You're right as ever. I was trying to put a rosy spin on it, and ended up not addressing the actual issue.

When I have trouble reading, I tend to go to the library where there's nothing else to do but read. If I'm feeling the need for a density of ideas to crunch through, I go to Barnes and Noble (comfy chairs, no pressure to buy) and read through the prefaces of books I'm interested in reading someday... they often contain analysis of the books along with a summary of the good parts, which is just enough spice to pique my interest.

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October 30, 2001

bastard tuesday

Apparently, Aaron/PasteMob was in the Boston Globe on Tuesday (10/23), not Sunday. (City pages, B2.) Here's the photo they took of him, and apparently the blurb read:

"KEYBOARD RACONTEUR--Aaron Mandel listens to words and phrases provided by passersby and uses them to create short stories, which he writes on demand in 45 to 60 minutes. On Sunday, Mandel was working on his vintage Royal in Harvard Square."

Wohoo! Go Aaron!

I really like yesterday's dagmar_chili, ("twilight of 5violet ..."). Maybe she's embarking on a new symbolist phase.

It utterly, utterly breaks my heart to see that Anne Carson will be giving talks in Vancouver this Thursday and Friday (via eclogues). If you live in Vancouver, please go, so I can live vicariously through your experience. I probably live better that way, too. Did I mention that last week I opened up my copy of In the Western Night, purchased 1994, to find the following written on the flypage in an unfamiliar hand:

For (...) --

Whose participation in class today was generous, and terrific --

All best,

Frank Bidart, Dec. 19, 1995

...and I was like, what the fuck happened? I don't remember being in a class with Frank Bidart in 1995? But then the more I dwell on it, like worrying at a loose tooth with my tongue, the more clearly I can make up this partial memory of how he must have driven from Wellesley to visit one of my professors and he must have liked what I had to say. Like Daffy Duck in Disneyland -- I can't track down the actual link, but there was some study recently on how easy it is to implant false memories. The researchers asked all these people questions about their childhood trips to Disneyland and then snuck in a question about "Do you rememer Daffy Duck being there?" and all these people said that they had, even though Daffy Duck is actually a character from Warner Brothers.

A. and I have been spending an awful lot of time at Dolce Vita, the new gelateria at 2123 Queen Anne Ave. at the top of Queen Anne hill in the old Crusty Loaf bakery space. It's a comfy wood-paneled cafe replete with Italianophile memorabilia and really nice staff (they were running ads in the Stranger this summer that said, "Starving artist? Come get a job at Dolce Vita"). They're too new to be on Citysearch, but business is thriving so much that they've started branching out into espresso, donuts, cookies, and these incredible paninis...

From Gog, Magog, Chevron, and Shrub via New Improved Mushrooms via my referrers:

All our lessons forgoten

And all our allies lineing up behind us
Badweather friends
Dare's oil in dem dare heels don't ya know

Will some one take me down to the Caspian Sea an drown me.

What's with this new Thon du Sac (apparently, "tuna of bag") thread over there on the right? Hm? (I used to be bothered by this site's comparatively small audience but now I'm grateful since it lets me get away with capers like this. You guys are a damn weird bunch!)

Changed the font sizes of my CSS because of some tips I picked up from Lukas/Lukwam. Mac users, can you read this? Let me know either way.

Oh yeah, go read the metafilter text ad-vertisers, since they've been kind enough to donate money toward the Internet community...

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October 29, 2001

bastard monday

New Seattle Times article today: Death, one drink at a time.

Feb. 10.

I am so sorry. I can't stop drinking. (The rest is illegible.)

Those journalist bastards, damn them for making me cry.

And as for those angels at filepile, bless them for making me laff with this Hamlet remake -cum-Scooby-Doo that actually scans.

Brain, brain, brain. Dead, dead, dead. Day in bread. La de da.

Anita wanted to know if I was going to participate in Weblogs.com's new "push" model, and I'm afraid that for right now the answer is sorry, no.... When one updates half a dozen times a day, it kind of gets to be a pain in the butt. If you're interested in update trackers, you can check out Ray Davis/Bellona Times's Weblog Updates site, which has a nice selection of lit-rit blogs presented in subhonkeresque format. A smaller subset of these blogs, including this one, is tracked here.

James/Mindful Link Propagation mentioned to me that he'd stumbled across Ella Minnow Pea, a playful novel that brings to mind the Pesos family. Basically, through some complicated setup, the book contains the letters of a bunch of people who live on an island with a shrinking alphabet. Apparently the book gets 'progressively quirkier and more inventive as alternative spellings ("yesters" for "yesterday") and word clusters ("yellow sphere" for "sun") come to dominate the language.' Rock!

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October 28, 2001

sunday

I saw a wonderful, utterly faithless, lovingly presented new/old translation of Ovid's Metamorphoses in the bookstore the other day: Arthur Golding's translation from 1567. Featuring such clearly Latinate words as "hittenmysse" (hit-and-miss).... One of the Amazon reviewers praises it as "a veritable storehouse of strange, funny, quaint Elizabethanisms that didn't quite make it into Shakespeare or the other mainstream writers of the period." Here's one of the sample pages, oh my god, iambic heptameter rocks so hard! It's like a doubled-up Emily Dickinson ballad meter (aka "The Yellow Rose of Texas) see, let me halve up the lines for you:

And men themselves contented well
With plaine and simple foode,
That on the earth of natures gift
Without their travail stoode,

Did live by Raspis, heppes and hawes,
By cornelles, plummes and cherries,
By sloes and apples, nuttes and peares,
And lothsome bramble berries...

Wish I had time enough to read it, and also to read Chapman's Homer, and Dryden's Virgil.

(But at my back I always hear
Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
There poetry shall not be found,
Nor, in my vault, shall echo the sound
of pages turning: worms shall try
My well-preservèd library...)

A bunch of blatantly spurious self-advertisements for a certain website have been deleted from the Diablog. Forgery will not be tolerated! Even if the guilty culprit happens to be one of the most entertainingly inventive webloggers... Let no one accuse this site of favoritism.

And a recent flattering comment was deleted within hours of its being posted, on the grounds that I'd prefer it not go to my head. The question was, how do those webloggers manage to keep up with 20 sites a day and pursue other interests (e.g. reading)? I don't know how they do it. Me, I certainly fall far short of that 20 site/day mark (5 is more like it), and I don't read anywhere near as much as I would like. But far as I can tell, the secret to being impressively well-read is two-fold: Don't have a day job, and don't have a life. I've got one of the two down pat, and it's really helped me get more reading done. You should try it!

"Now, today's Sunday. We'll drop two Surmontils each, go to bed and come up smiling on Tuesday. I hate bastard Mondays."
- Withnail & I

Me too, man. Me too. Except for the "smiling on Tuesday" part. 'Cause, see, whatever day you re-emerge from a tricyclic-induced pseudo-coma, that day becomes Monday, spiritually, a Monday of the soul. Even if it could put you under all the way through Friday afternoon. So there must be a better solution, though getting myself fired is probably not it, and I'm working hard on figuring this out.

My achievement of the weekend: UTF8ToUnicode in VBScript (which, if you haven't heard of it, is one of those "toy languages" that give C programmers the fantods). Having to do bit manipulation without the luxury of hexadecimal numbers, bitwise operators, or the left and right shift was nearly the death of me (through irritation), though of course it all came up roses in the end, except that the black-box layer between our VBScript and our SQL database is munging all the high-byte characters somehow. No wonder I try to drown my sorrows in books...

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October 27, 2001

a grey, cold, happy saturday

Tra la la, this new router I'm getting is going to spare me from $25/month in static IP fees. It'll be a dent in my next credit card bill, but like they say, you gotta spend money to save money, right? Anyway, stay tuned for a couple days of downtime in the next week or two while I get this baby renumbered. (Fervent thanks to Seattle Bloggers Jerry and Shawn for suggesting it! Click on them, for they Know Stuff!)

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October 26, 2001

friday (at last!)

This has been the longest week...

This diablog thing is so much fun! Lots of high-quality reader input, less pressure to reply via email (which, if you have't already noticed, I suck at). Improved the diablog return interface, fixed a ton of bugs in the handling of HTML tags, gave up on fixing others. Added support for <img>, line breaks. Moved the comments section to the right for the benefit of Lynx users (i.e. me), (although you guys still won't be able to see the magnificent gray boxes that distinguish the words of others from what comes directly out of the maw of Gaw.) Anyway, let me know if you have other suggestions.

Now that the amanita thread has quieted down, I'm going to move it into the main area for preservation, because I like it so.

The Americans have a word for it: tripping (as opposed to traveling); usage, "Yo, Geegaw's trippin', man!

Which I love because it indicates both the possibility of broadening one's mind on a journey and the possibility of flattening one's face in a pratfall.

I was talking to B. the other day, who is about to leave for Bangkok, and a friend of his mom's, while trying to give him travel advice, kept on describing various parts of Thailand as "trippy" so often that B. had to wonder whether his mom's friend had seen the entire country on acid, or what...

Amanita muscaria was known among the Maya as xibalbaj okox, "the mushroom of the underworld," or k'aizalah okox, the "lost judgment mushroom." Symbolic mushroom stones over 3000 years old have been found at Guatemalan archeological sites. Cf. also the R.E.M. song "The Flowers of Guatemala.
"There's something that I've never seen before
The flowers often bloom at night
Amanita is the name they cover over everything

Wow, someone's a real amateur(?) mycologist here. I think "The Lost Judgment Mushroom" would be a great title for a book. Oh yeah, and man, did anyone catch R.E.M.'s surprise gig at the Crocodile on Tues.? Certainly not I.

Fascinating, the comment on the REM song. I thought it was about politics...

It is about politics too, I think (flowers being those on the graves of peasants killed by U.S.-sponsored right-wing death squads) but yeah, the mushroom's thrown in there. Go figure.

In ancient Siberia, the price of a specimen of Amanita muscaris was one reindeer.

I think this one is a hoax...

Sami shamen [the Sami are the original Lapp tribes] drank the urine of reindeer which had eaten Fly Agaric. Metabolisation removed the toxins from the mushrooms, but their hallucinogenic properties remained in the urine. When shamen went 'on the piss' they meant what they said...

This one has GOT to be a hoax!

try it and find out! a whole new world, an undiscovered country :)

Try "it"? :) Those indefinite antecedents get me every time. But I guess we're all born with a passport to the undiscovered country.

...

re: bjork video. On MTV2 in the UK before 9pm they show the video with big black boxes over all of her 'intimacy' (this includes her back). I feel morally protected by an impersonal state.

Oh that is disappointing. I should have hoped they would have the class to at least use the pale blurry "censored" areas, which wouldn't clash with the rest of the video.

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October 25, 2001

free wig with purchase of large wig

These pleasures, Melancholy, give
And I with thee will choose to live.

(I finally got around to reading Il Penseroso, once I realized that the poem itself was not actually in Italian.)

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October 24, 2001

here, drink this down, we've been here way too long

Glamourous, cool people always slink into Halloween parties glittering. What do pathologically shy cheapskates do? Tear some holes into an old shirt and fishnets, daub purple lipstick around my eyes and try to make my lips pale with foundation, then give up... I have to think of something... There must be something I can do with the princess Maud dress. Nothing matches, but nothing clashes badly enough to be a "statement." Nothing fits. My hair isn't yet long enough to be messy.

A. reminds me that the literal definition of "apotheosis" involves bodily ascension into heaven. Also, R.G. reminds me that Aphrodite is supposed to have emerged from sea-foam that gathered around the severed genitals of Uranus after his son Cronos cast them into the sea. And yes, I did a Google search on "severed genitals" in order to find that link for you.

Stevens wrote on the birth of a lesser Aphrodite: The Paltry Nude Starts on a Spring Voyage.

And here's Glaucus's lament, from Keats's Endymion via Bulfinch:

"Why was I not contented? Wherefore reach
At things which, but for thee, O Latmian!
Had been my dreary death? Fool! I began
To feel distemper'd longings: to desire
The utmost privilege that ocean's sire
Could grant in benediction: to be free
Of all his kingdom. Long in misery
I wasted, ere in one extremest fit
I plung'd for life or death. To interknit
One's senses with so dense a breathing stuff
Might seem a work of pain; so not enough
Can I admire how crystal-smooth it felt,
And buoyant round my limbs. At first I dwelt
Whole days and days in sheer astonishment;
Forgetful utterly of self-intent;
Moving but with the mighty ebb and flow."

I think I forgot to mention that James/Laboratorium is back. Or, even if I did, here it is again: James is back with more of that cultural analysis you love so well. And while I'm at it, let me plug Aaron again, now that he's conveniently bookmarkable in his new incarnation of Aaron/PasteMob. There is a partially obscured picture of me somewhere on that site, see, the tissue dims and thins...

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October 23, 2001

tuesday

I made a few listmania lists the other day.

The amanita thread going on over there on the right is really fun to follow; thanks, folks. I like "Flowers of Guatemala" quite a bit, because it's pretty, but I confess I've got Curve's "Horror Head" on repeat in my brain -- that's the song that goes (wordlessly): do re, re mi, mi fa, la fa, over and over again for five minutes. Have been listening to it all day, trying to avoid the Bach (Well-Tempered Clavier) that's been prescribed me.

Spending a lot of time at work really pays off. I had one of those think-outside-of-the-box breakthroughs around 7:15pm, when the lights went out in my office, and so I'm kicking back for the night, watching taped-up episodes of Buffy. It looks like my fyevrit vampyr, Dru, is going to get a lot of airtime this week. Good deal.

Complacencies of the peignoir
And late coffee and oranges in a sunny chair
And the freedom of a green parakeet upon a rug
Are all very well
But it's Monday friggin' morning!
And I'm late!

You're real late, bucko, since you posted that on a Tuesday morning!

Cartago Delendo Est

Oh yes. Someone's been sending in that sentence repeatedly, he says it's because of its historical relation to current events. It means "Carthage must be destroyed" Anyway, Carthage is female, so it ought to be delenda. Wheelock's explains the phrase.

Comment:

I thought the sentence went:
ceteram censeo carthaginem delendam esse (or something like that)...

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October 22, 2001

monday

A very windy day. Waited at the bus stop, leaning forward on my elbows, looking down at the pavement between my feet: one oval, yellow leaf; tiny glittering puddles; a little soil. My mind, as well, blowing all over the place.

Seems today that the city is composed of beauty and evil. The evil is mostly ugly, and not very much of the beauty is good.

People on the street talking about something, I don't know what. "I've tried my whole life just to get beyond it."

And the Seattle Mariners have edged out anthrax in the headlines, so of course I can't stop thinking about those powders -- and ancient evil (malum antiquum) -- and Paul Muldoon's line about the British attack on the American Indians: "They gave us six fishhooks / and two blankets embroidered with smallpox." (Meeting the British, 1987.) And then RobotWisdom links to a history of mad honey (the passive deployment of grayanotoxins in warfare in 67 BC), and then Robert Graves' foreword to my edition of his The Greek Myths writes:

"I no longer believe that when [Dionysus's] Maenads ran raging around the countryside, tearing animals or children in pieces and boasted afterwards of travelling to India and back, they had intoxicated themselves solely on wine or ivy-ale. ... [but] a far stronger drug: namely a raw mushroom, amanita muscaria, which induces hallucinations, senseless rioting, prophetic sight, erotic energy, and remarkable muscular strength. Some hours of this ecstasy are followed by complete inertia; a phenomenon that would account for the story of how Lycurgus, armed only with an ox-goad, routed Dionysus's drunken army of Maenads and Satyrs after its victorious return from India."

So it makes me wonder what it would be like to try some of that -- just like if you were to receive an envelope with cyanide, or some anthrax to inhale, wouldn't it cross your mind for a split second? When you remember the other worlds that lie just under or within your own? A friend sends in a link to Rimbaud's The Drunken Boat, asserting that it describes a drug-induced odyssey so transfigurative that the author can never recover. Here's a few excerpts:

I have struck, do you realize, incredible Floridas,
where mingle with flowers the eyes of panthers in human skins!

But, truly, I have wept too much! Dawns are heartbreaking.

O let my keel split! O let me sink to the bottom!

If there is one water in Europe I want, it is the black
cold pool ...

What happens when someone dies, or trips on acid, or takes ketamine, or Prozac? Some chemical starts or stops, a change invisible to the human eye... Your body is right where it was, and do we even have a name for that kind of travel? There are other worlds next to our own, death seems like just one of those worlds, don't you ever want to visit? And the scariest thing about them is that I couldn't be sure of finding my way home from that, no, quite to the contrary.

...

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October 21, 2001

sunday

O Stephene, fortunem diem natalem!

So here's the skinny on the new feature which someone just named "diablog": you can post some text directly into the layout of geegaw, and the last few things posted will appear in this area on the right. Every so often, if I see something that seems to be a response to something I blogged, I'll move it into this right-hand column below the relevant entry. And I'll remove stuff from the bottom when the list gets long. Sound fair?

Some clever little entries so far... thank you, anonymous writers.

...

breakthrough in chiliology

[the following entry has been retroactively edited for gender]

At some time well after my initial phase of ardent Dagmar_Chili fanhood, I reached the point where many of her entries began to make sense, and they got even better. I want to share this with you because I know a lot of people are like, "Oh, Dagmar Chili, that site's all bluster and no substance." So here's a dagmar_chili entry, and my translation of it follows:

While buying a toffee pigeon and left a durnup it to the sing, they heard this poisonous thing on the radio. Luckily they are all obscure nonentities. Then they went to heaven if they think so, if that's what they start getting them in the center for using directions

Which means:

"While I was buying my morning coffee, some of the townfolk were listening to a program about anthrax on the radio. Luckily they are all obscure nonentities [thus won't be targeted]. Then the terrorists went to heaven because they believed they would. That's how they start recruiting terrorists in the Middle East, the ones who rely on others' directions."

And after three damned months I think I've also figured out the principle behind her nonsense period, where each line of verse has been rearranged as an anagram according to certain positional rules, for example:

n,n abs demdecCesrhhls
nch'rglheobhaoirtleh, cTetst b
s nc at lin howw tpcfchhfwhtae

turns out to be:

Chess blend, send charm
To the trench's light, clobber a
spent clown whiff. Hatch watch.

Note that the first line of the poem is a chiasmus of sound, like the first line of Coleridge's "Kubla Khan", so I mean, this one knows her stuff, okay? More forthcoming, as I have time for it...

Comments:

Excellent analysis. But so what is the significance of "left a durnup it to the sing"? And why do you call dagmar "that guy"? It has always seemed feminine to me.

I suppose Dagmar is a woman's name, so I've changed my pronouns accordingly. But I have no idea what "left a durnup..." means.

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October 20, 2001

saturday

NME has an article about that Pagan Poetry video I linked to earlier (if you missed it or had trouble downloading earlier, it's at Bjork.com and zippy-fast now that it's hosted by Akamai). Anyway, sounds like it's not a stunt double at the end. Uh. The director Nick Knight says, "Her dress stops just below her breasts and she's sewn pearls into her skin. She approached me with the idea. Her original idea in Iceland was to sew pearls into her nipples. She wanted to show her sexuality." Yowza.

...

Comments:

you gotta love nick knight, the director of the bjork video, when he assures us that sewing strings of pearls into bjork's back is not "about tribalism or S&M. It's about a woman's love for a man." yeah, dude, whatever.

Nothing says "sexuality" like mineral deposits!

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October 19, 2001

friday

At some point many winters ago, Susan/Sugarspun looked cold, so I gave her my scarf. Months passed, I entirely forgot about the matter, and then in the spring she presented me with this lovely, brief, silky-mauve, handmade wool scarf in sort of a lacy-nubby knit. She had knitted it herself to replace the one she had lost, can you believe it? It's now one of my favorite accessories of all time. Anyway, Susan links to the Fantod Deck, an Edward Gorey-based system of divination.

Feeling grim. I've decided that I'm suffering from a lack of bodily awareness. That's what you call it when you find yourself shivering in wet hair and a towel, having spent the past hour surfing for sweaters on the internet and making a mental note which of them you are going to buy once you regain the courage to leave the house. No wonder I get sick all the time.

So I dried my hair, pulled on my doodly jeans and a genuine Irish wool sweater Rachel bought for me on her honeymoon (there's a hole in the shoulder that I keep sewing up and it keeps reappearing), and turned the heater on. The house looks like it was hit by a williwaw, I'm going to clean it up today. I'm going to make some flashcards for Latin class and pay up all my outstanding bills with some money I took out of my savings account last week.

The third and fourth fingers on my left hand hurt from where I think I slammed it in a door, in my sleep, last night. I woke up with my hand wedged between an icepack and the pillow, and a vague memory of a bolt of pain in the middle of the dark. Clumsy me.

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October 18, 2001

thursday

I have cool, hand-decorated, furiously-scribbled-upon-with-ballpoint-pen-during-a-week-of-hellish-meetings old/new jeans. Here's a photo of part of them.

Buffy reruns started screening on FX a while ago, and ever since the beginning of the second season there's been something campy and touching about it. Juliet Landau plays my favorite vampire. She says wonderful things, like "Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She's a bad example, and will have no cakes today." Or, to one of her child-victims, "My mummy used to sing me to sleep at night. Run and catch, the lamb is caught in the blackberry patch... She had the sweetest voice. What will your mummy sing when they find your body?"

Seduce the one you love with Trance Words. Eww. And it gets worse, with Embedded Commands Techniques.

A couple of my trance words: "sweetie," "alienated," "panda."

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October 17, 2001

wednesday

135,000 people were killed in the fire-bombing of Dresden...

RE the new War Vote computer worm - please tell your parents and unsavvy friends, if they are MS Outlook users and you haven't yet upgraded to Outlook 2002 or installed the right security patches, then they shouldn't double-click on the attached file called WTC.EXE. Or any file ending in .exe, for heaven's sake. But apparently if you're more worried about your snail mail, you can steam iron your letters before you open them. Holy shit, it's that simple? --via Ray/Bellona Times.

I have all the spine of a boiled noodle. The exciting new "get your war on" comic that's getting linked all over, they talk about what's better than anthrax. (Wave to Lukas and others who have recommended the www.mnftiu.cc guy). Anyway, I'm worried about my family, which lives all over the place. I know it doesn't make any sense after having lived through two military coups, countless threats of being bombed by China, etc. as a kid -- whereas nothing bad has happened yet, that we know of, within a thousand-mile radius of Seattle -- but still.

Comment:

what sort of sauce would go better with your spine? pesto? carbonara? marinara? what?

O visitors and surfers from outside of the continental United States, I ask you: What country do you live in, and how quickly can an English-speaking programmer get a work visa there?

From Robert Graves' autobiography:

"At least one in three of my generation at school died; because they all took commissions as soon as they could, most of them in the infantry and Royal Flying Corps. The average life expectancy of an infantry subaltern on the Western Front was, at some stages of the War, only about three month; by which time he had been either wounded or killed. The proportions worked out at about four wounded to every one killed. Of these four, one got wounded seriously, and the remaining three more or less lightly. The three lightly wounded returned to the front after a few weeks or months of absence, and again faced the same odds. Flying causalties were even higher. Since the War lasted for four and a half years, it is easy to see why most of the survivors, if not permanently disabled, collected several wound stripes."

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October 16, 2001

tuesday

Given up on the summer's (sumor's) hopes of writing (wrntan) this site (guiegaue-dotte-comme) in Latyn, now having hopes for a broekn sort of pseudo-Olde or Myddle Englishe? E. g., thou, nom. // thee, acc. // thy, thine, gen. I wish i had the time to read this old english grammer page or more than a couple pps of this blah blah fucking blah sittin meetings onder telephone sitting meetings coding meetings all the livelong day

...

Oh boy. I am so late for work. But very tired (sleepy), can't hardly stir.

i am toad:

why She is Spoke is not a hoax: the EXTREME unlikelihood of anyone pre-Twain putting together such a thing. Though it does often seem too good to be true. I do believe there are quite a few typos, probably from every stage of printing, the Portugueno's handwriting of the phrases, transcription to print, & in the making of english editions. Apparently mcsweeneys is working on a reprint, as reported in the metafilter thread

an:

Just heard Muldoon read Sept 1st 1939 on NPR. It's available here

more here.

The Anathemata

I don't think Gibbon's that bad. A better example is Milton's Areopagitica or the opening of Johnson's preface to Shakespeare and of course of course of course the 'Oxen' chapter of Ulysses!

I guess you got a 100% streak, old boy. Oh, happy bloomsday+4mo, everyone.

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October 12, 2001

friday

Now that Aaron's Fiction, Ltd. project is starting to amass some substantial archives, I am pleased to introduce him to whichever of you web readers haven't seen it linked off of proleptic and I think some other sites? The deal is: you send him 5-10 words or phrases, and he takes an hour to type up a short story based on them. He's been setting up shop in Au Bon Pain with a typewriter and a little card proclaiming his services, which frankly, rocks extremely hard. From my favorite so far, which was written for his dad:

PLAN: Spend all day slamming the front door.

DESIRED RESULT: A great big hole in the ground swallowing the house, like
Mom said.

RESULT: No hole. Mom angry. No additional discipline for harnessing self
to handrail of front stairs, though.



                


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October 11, 2001

briefing for a descent into hell

A cynical rendition of the current geegaw title ("Write 'pax' across the window pane"). (14K .WAV file)

Someone sends in the text of Catullus 85, Odi et Amo, "since you seem to like Latin so much." This is great, because it was Frank Bidart's homage to this very same poem that sparked my first interest in Latin.

Also of note: Anselm Dovetonsil's brilliant interpretation of the same, Otis and Amos.

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October 10, 2001

wage "bellum" on their hineys

I like this Mr. Scotchy comic, also alert in Sector Eleven.

I want to say something further about "Monkey Gone to Heaven," which is that the lyrics revolve around the death of the old gods in the modern world - e.g. the Poseidon figure "got killed by ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey" but that it ends with what I find to be a deeply affecting [movement toward|claim for] a world beyond our own, and powers greater than our own. Expressed in charming occult-numerological terms! But of course, none of it would be worth a darn thing without Kim Deal and Joey Santiago.

At some point today I wanted to point out the irony that a site named MetaMeat is written by a vegetarian, anyway, he writes in to respond:

Indeed! But I also have to put in an honorable mention for the lyrics of "Weird at my School." Because yeah, that happens. -P/mM

Show Studio has an amazing music video for my favorite new Bjork song, "Pagan Poetry." (NB: may not be appropriate to watch from work.) (via Fred/Metascene)

Am told, almost certainly by Toadex/Dagmar_chili:

Wage "bellum" HIR HEN STEINOY!! Wkers!!!age ihe fuc [bu

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October 9, 2001

blah blah blah

Shivering in the shower waiting for the air around the hot water to heat up, reminded me of a book from my childhood, Madeleine L'Engle's Many Waters. That's the one where the kids go "Take me someplace warm and sparsely populated," and end up in antediluvian times, battling nephilim. "Many waters cannot drown love" was the title, I loved it well.

Which came to me in the shower, small caps and all:

OPPOSE THE TALIBAN:
BOYCOTT HEROIN

...

In a trash mood, diet down the drain. Surfing fashion websites, pigging out on ramen and pistachio ice cream. Just saw an ad for Prozac Weekly on TV. So like, my moods could cycle on a weekly basis instead of a monthly one? Also, check out this black wool blazer, and and and this ruby "reefer" coat, and the following sumptuous grey and ivory, and multicolored wool sweaters, lots and lots of sweaters! It's cold out here! But, armored with a new fiscally responsible resolve, I shall not fall for the tactics of the corporate manufacturing behemoth! I have not made any clothing purchases since the 19th of August!

But my parents have been informed that, for my birthday, some boots would be deeply appreciated. And I know they will get them for me, because I know how much they want me to stop thinking about the dead.

And parts of the poem by Li Bai, the famous one that ends "There is another world beyond the world of men," keep popping up in my head. Here's one version. Wish I could find the original.

Don't miss this, the selected works of Chilled the Fresh, click on the names of the Authors to see more gutsplitting hilarity (via Ray/Belladonna)

I am told:

(apparently it's a line from a live version of "Monkey Gone to Heaven")

Yeah I should listen to the Pixies more (Where is my mind?). I like your taste in music ;-) But I still hate getting up in the morning.

the pixies own your ass, you just be leasin'

That's a pretty good list you have there. I really love some of that stuff. In particular, the Pixies and Liz Phair. I love her. I have such a crush on her. Oh man. She went to Oberlin, just like me! - Lukas

^_^   ...Actually, today I have been listening to There Is a Light That Never Goes Out.

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October 8, 2001

si non valetis, non valeo


In which Alice once again reveals herself to be a woman of shamefully mainstream tastes

... blame whoever it was who mentioned the Pixies. Songs to which I have danced in front of the wide mirror in my room, on repeat, with the lights off, a partial list

  • Pixies, "Monkey Gone to Heaven"
  • Liz Phair, "Fuck and Run"
  • Sugarcubes, "Hit"
  • Throwing Muses, "Juno"
  • Violent Femmes, entire debut album
  • Pale Saints, "The Sight of You"
  • Smiths, "Ask"
  • Loud Family, "Aerodeliria"

    Songs to which I have curled up on the carpet in front of my stereo and cried, on repeat, similarly incomplete and in roughly chronological order

  • Suzanne Vega, "The Queen and the Soldier"
  • Cure, "A Letter to Elise" and "Wish" (it was a long time ago, okay?)
  • Innocence Mission, "Happy the End"
  • REM, "You Are the Everything"
  • Madder Rose, "Panic On"
  • American Music Club, "Last Harbor" and "Western Sky"
  • Throwing Muses, "Hate My Way"
  • Magnetic Fields, "100,000 Fireflies"
  • Pixies, "Monkey Gone to Heaven"
  • Adrian Borland, "Winning" and "Total Recall"
  • Helium, "Love $$$"
  • Arab Strap, several albums
  • Will Oldham, "You Will Miss Me When I Burn"

    ...

    Someone writes in anonymously:

    "English as She..." was referred to by Mark Twain, T. H. Huxley & James Joyce (where I first heard of it) -- must've been the "All your base" of its time....

    Someone else writes in, sadly,:

    Why is life not more fun?

    To which I reply, in these times, grateful am I just to be alive and to have the vigor to get up in the morning.

    Okay, more comments coming in (I should just set up one of those "comments" links that are all the rage these days).

    Q: Why is life not more fun? A: Not listening to enough Pixies.

    Because fun is defined, like everything else, in terms of misery. One cannot exist without the other. When I was more solitary, I used to enjoy being depressed. Now that I am rarely alone, I find I can't enjoy it as much because it bums people out. Thus a the death of happy misery.

    frankly, getting up in the morning is supposed to be fun? Vigorously?

    Oh no, getting up in the morning is not fun at all, but I'm still grateful that I'm strong enough to do it.

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    October 7, 2001

    good-bye to all that

    This Handspring Visor accessory "personal massager" comes with two electrode pads, uses EMS (electronic muscle stimulation) to deliver tiny shocks to your muscles to help you relax. (thanks Lauren/Proleptic)

    Published in 1883, English as She is Spoke is probably the worst English phrasebook ever written. And beautiful in its own found-poetry way, Part One in particular reminding me of the Ben Marcus:

    Fishes and shell-fishes
    Calamary                        Large lobster
    Dorado                          Snail
    A sorte of fish                 Wolf
    Hedge hog                       Torpedo
                    Sea-calf.
    

    Then there are three pages of dialogues that you simply cannot miss, a section of instructive anecdotes, and an 'Idiotisms and Proverbs' section ("Friendship of a child is water into a basket."). This is way too good to be not a hoax. (Thanks, as ever, to S.)

    Plato walking one's self a day to the field with some of their friends. They were to see him Diogenes who was in to water untill the chin. The superficies of the water was snowed, for the reserve of the hole that Diogenes was made. "Don't look it more," told them Plato, "and he shall get out soon."

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    October 6, 2001

    mus sum... Minimus sum!

    I wish I was 7-10 years old again so I could study Latin with Minimus the Mouse, the new and apparently fairly popular British effort to start teaching Latin at the primary school level. According to the official website, 'several schools report lists of children waiting to join the clubs; a little girl fainted at school. She had eaten no food all day "because Minimus club starts tonight and I was too excited... " ' Instead, have spent the day making flashcards. But I really want to be reading Minimus: Starting Out in Latin, even though I know I'm of an age where I should be reading the Teacher's Resource Book instead...

    The Onion has an interview with Judd Apatow, of Freaks and Geeks, lately of Undeclared.

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    October 5, 2001

    links from friends

    Via MeFi, a funny palindrome: "Rettebs iflahd noces, eh? Ttu, but the second half is better." (thanks Tobey)

    Also a bawdy Latinate poem, The Lay of Ancient Rome, by Thomas Ybarra. Excerpt:

      He often went on sprees
          And said, on starting homus,
      "Hic labor --- opus est,
          Oh, where's my hic--hic--domus?"

    Java applet: Chinese clock tells the time in Chinese characters. (thanks Dirk, who also writes "Renoir may have said it also, but Utrillo was the painter who actually exposed himself (usually to the very prim and proper English ladies out on a "daring" tour of Montmartre) and yelled "I paint with it!" -- he was an alcoholic -- his mother, the model-turned-painter, Suzanne Valadon, had him start painting to distract him from drinking. He was the best-selling painter of that time period.")

    CaterinaAndStewart/Caterina have a new and very cute puppy. May many years of good health lie ahead of him.

    Jessie recommends Laura Flanders's columns at workingforchange.com.

    Mitsu/SyntheticZero recommends the new weblog [sub]cult(u|r|e).

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    October 3, 2001

    happy birthday lisa

    Oh my god, I am so busy. Happy birthday Lisa I love you. That is all.

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    October 2, 2001

    Pereant

    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt

    (screw those who wrote our words before we did.)

    "Madness & booze, madness & booze.
    Which'll can tell who preceded whose?"

    "I paint," Renoir said, "with my penis." (quoted here) Also, "I never think I have finished a nude until I think I could pinch it." (WebMuseum). Then Rilke wrote,

    Ach, aber met Versen ist so wenig getan, wenn man sie früh schreibt. ("God fucking damn, verses don't amount to jack shit when one writes 'em as a young 'un.")

    ...

    It's 'cause I just started taking Latin class, at night school, yesterday. We haven't learned any actual words yet, but I'm jumping the gun, trying to translate a little of Stevens' "Banjo Boomer" without any knowledge of declensions, etc., and with the aid of the Tufts English-Latin dictionary. If you have any corrections please send them in!

    ...

    The mulberry is a double tree.
    morum arbor biforis est

    Mulberry, shade me, shade me awhile.
    morum, obumbra me, brevi obumbra me

    A white, pink, purple berry tree,
    arbor albineus, arbor rubeus, arbor morum purpureus,

    A very dark-leaved berry tree.
    folium tenebrarius arbor mora

    Mulberry, shade me, shade me awhile.
    morum, obumbra me, brevi obumbra me

    ...

    It's Stevens' birthday today. He would have been 122. (thanks A.)

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    October 1, 2001

    sick day

    Back from a very brief jaunt to Chicago, liked it quite a bit. Eyes gratefully gobbled up the substantial Joseph Cornell collection on display at the Art Institute, though actually I had come down with bronchitis which reached its zenith/nadir that day, and was too tired to see the entire exhibit...

    Ina's, right across from the Erotic Warehouse, makes a very tasty vegetable hash for breakfast, the Bongo Room almost as good and with a more yuppie vibe. Maitre d' slapped A. on the back with an encouraging "Come on, sunshine" -- maybe that's Midwestern hospitality, or maybe just gayness.

    The Field Museum of Natural History was glorious if faded around the edges, with instructional captions like "I'll trade you this useful rock for two alligator teeth," a flesh-eating vulture mask, etc. The rest of our Chicago was comprised by, in no particular order: a fenced-off yard full of animals turned to stone, a very clean and homey writer's garret, pear soda, several restaurants that failed to actually exist, a statue of Christopher Columbus brandishing long talons that made him look like the wicked ruler of some fantastic land, a Banana Republic billboard featuring a guy in a blazer and blue checkered pants which made us hope for a GAP ad of the ilk "Everybody in bustles", and then an obscene bakery hat sigil, white-on-blue on a poster we drove by. A disjointed summary but hopefully it is enough to jog the memory and let imagination fill in the rest.

    Now I'm staying home sick from work. A beautiful day outside and everything. Yargh! I have the immune system of a jaundiced two-year-old, and the petulance. At least there are good bread and vine-ripened tomatoes to snack on, and books to read.

    ...

    Maybe I'd just gotten used to it in Seattle, but plastered over just about every shop front in Chicago were copies of the American flag on newsprint.... Jessie said some newspaper had run it as a centerfold recently.

    We were sitting on the El and talking when a young man jumped up, pointed a finger at some point a little right of Nathan's head, where a dirty-looking man was slumped in a corner, and erupted into an earsplittingly loud stream of invective. "You brush past me and call me n*gger, you dare brush past me and call me n*gger. You trash. You piece of trash. Our country is in a time of war, we're supposed to stick together, and you dare stand there and mumble n*gger at me. God damn you. God damn you to hell. We're going to go to war, and you'll get drafted, and you're going to be on the front lines, and then you're going to be the first to die. You're going to die. And you deserve to die. Damn you," and kept on doing so, for at least as long as we were on the train.

    I keep on saying that this site was meant to function as a distraction, and that for real & important news, please refer to the links at the top of this page. But the counter of days just rolled over today, it's a new month, and I still can't seem to keep the feeling of menace and dread from creeping in between these lines.

    ...

    Anyway, Ray/Bellona Times writes

    For starters, we can probably agree that in an emergency one should work to save people.

    If not that (or after that), then one should witness.

    If one has nothing to witness and no expertise to offer, one might as well deal with one's own despair as quietly as possible and continue with one's existing duties as effectively as possible.

    Disheartening when not numbing--but otherwise rarely worthy of notice--is weakness before the temptation of fallacious "engagement": the inability to turn away when one can neither act or witness. For natural joiners, such weakness might be expressed in flag-waving (whether red-white-and-blue or rainbow) and "FUCK BIN LADEN" or "GIVE PEACE A CHANCE" T-shirts and tuneless warbling of Kate Smith or John Lennon hits, while the natural non-joiners will instead be heard carping and nattering to themselves like so many nervous rodents.

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